Right Now
by cellardoor
Summary: Two people so close together, yet so far apart. Jude and Tommy on a roadtrip gone wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't Own Instant Star.

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Tommy stared out ahead of him. The only thoughts that flooded his mind were of her and how easy it would be to just lean over, open the door, give her a little shove, and continue down the open road. He turned to look at her, she was pulling her thick sweaty hair up into a ponytail, 'so easy' the thought crossed his mind again. He smirked to himself; it was just that thought alone that got him through the day. 

She turned and looked at him looking at her, the look his eye made her uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat, "What?" she nearly growled at him.

"Nothing," he looked back out to open road ahead of him, a smile crept onto his face, "It's too easy," he mumbled under his breath.

"Whatever," she crossed her arms over her chest, leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes against the wind that was making its way into the car spreading itself across her hot body.

They had been in the car for what felt like years now. And it was only the day before yesterday that they left. Why they decided to take a long road trip with just the two of them to what looked like the middle of nowhere was a question that Jude was still asking herself, but Tommy seemed to be enjoying it.

Jude glanced out the windshield in front of her, the road was long and empty, and they were the only car for miles in either direction. She was sure they were lost on some unforgotten highway, but he swore he knew where they were going. The sun was burning down upon the world. Jude looked to her right where she saw the mirage of water in the distance. She sighed as she pictured herself jumping into a pool and washing the sweat that was dripping down her body away. If she could have any one thing in the world right now, it would be that, a pool, where she could lay out, have some drinks and take a swim whenever she felt she was getting too hot.

Instead she was stuck in a car that felt like hell, with no where to go. The black '67 Chevy Impala was covered in a thick red dust. It looked like it hadn't been washed in years, as did Tommy and she. The sweat covered both their bodies. Even with the windows rolled down the wind blowing through her hair it didn't help relieve her from the heat. She glanced over at Tommy and glared. They just had to take one of his classic cars, why not the Hummer that was fully equipped with a DVD player and air conditioning was beyond her. He insisted on the Impala because "that's how road trips were meant to be done."

They had been on the road trip for the past two days, made it a day and half without fighting before he swore to never take her on another road trip and turned around heading for home; they hadn't had a civil conversation in the last 7 hours.

Tommy rested his left arm out the window with his right hand on the wheel. He stared at the road in front of him, nothing in sight, just the red dry desert. Jude sat in the passenger seat, her body sticking to the red leather. She was slouching with her feet up on the dash board, her hands beating on her knees along to the music that was blaring on the radio, distracting them from each other.

Tommy reached over and changed the station.

Jude's head turned quickly, "I was listening to that," she angrily huffed.

"And now your not," he ignored her.

Just then the radio cut out and there was a clink then a loud POP!

Jude sat up quickly, her feet hit the floor and her hands clutched the dash board in front of her, "What was that?" she looked at Tommy.

The car jumped a bit and then made a chugging sound; Tommy slowed it down and pulled over to the side of the road just before there was a hissing sound and smoke rose from under the hood.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jude shot herself back into her seat and ran her fingers through her knotted hair.

"Fuck!" Tommy yelled as he banged his hands against the steering wheel.

They sat there in silence, both staring out their respective windows.

"Well aren't you going to go take a look?" Jude shot Tommy a death glare.

He looked over at her and slouched back in his seat.

"Tommy, you aren't going to just sit there are you?" she pestered.

He ignored her and continued to sit where he was without even glancing at her.

"Tommy?" she yelled.

When he still didn't acknowledge that she was talking to him Jude kicked open her door and slammed it shut with all her force.

The car shook and Tommy cringed, he hated when people did anything to mistreat his cars, especially slam the doors. He turned his head to look at Jude outside; she was kicking at the dirt, before she calmed herself down and took a seat in the shade against the car wheel.

Once she calmed herself Tommy wiped the smirk off his face and exited the car. He popped the hood to let it cool, while taking a quick glance. He wiped his hands on his jeans as he made his way to the side of the car that Jude was sitting against, "Well it doesn't look like we'll be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Great," she sighed under her breath as Tommy took a seat next to her against the car.

"We'll try and fix it tomorrow, or just wait for someone to pass, until then, please, just pretend that I am not here," Tommy continued to stare straight ahead of him, the open world held so much, yet here he was, stuck in the past.

There arms touched as they both sat there in the shade, trying to pretend the other didn't exist. Together they sat side by side, with miles between them. Two people so close to each other, yet so far separated. It was already late when they pulled over to the side of the road; they sat there for an hour in silence and watched as the sun just began to start setting.

It wasn't until an hour after it got dark that it started cooling down. They had gone on this trip to try and save their relationship, but there was too much hanging over their heads before they even left, Jude knew it was a disaster from the start.

But Tommy was the one that always had the hope, he was the one that was holding on for dear life to a relationship that she had already learned to let go. Why she agreed to go on the trip in the first place was something that even she was unsure of. But it was too dark to see where they stood with each other. Right now, Jude wasn't sure she wanted to give Tommy the satisfaction of even trying to save what, if anything, they had.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Enjoy.**

Everything had gone black around them. They were in the middle of nowhere. Only the light from the moon cascaded down upon them, casting shadows against their faces, their bodies and the car. Tommy was concentrating on the flat land ahead of him, counting the silhouetted images of the cactus along the horizon.

Jude looked over at Tommy who was staring far off in front of him, his mouth was trembling, Jude couldn't tell if he was cold, or talking to himself.

"What are you doing?"

Tommy ignored her, determined not to let her get to him, or lose count of the cactus in his head, "_71, 72…" _he mouthed.

"Earth to Tommy," she persisted when she didn't get an answer.

"…_73, 74…" _he tried not to blink.

"TOM!" she finally shoved him on the shoulder causing him to fall off balance and glance away from the horizon.

He turned his head to glare at her, "God damn it Jude!" he huffed as he turned to look at her, "What?"

Jude growled, "God Tommy!" she yelled back as she got to her feet, "I am here because you insisted that I come, you are the one that wanted to work this out and you are the one that wanted to talk. Well look around you Tommy, there isn't anyone for miles, so talk… you have all the time in the world."

He didn't say anything, he couldn't say anything. The moon was the only light and it silhouetted her body hovering above him. He watched as she stood in front of him, here eyes glowing in the dark, her stare burning through his soul.

She laughed at herself, throwing her arms up in the air, "Yeah, that's what I thought," she sat down next to him again, her arm once again touching his, "This was all just a waste of time, why am I even here? Seriously, couldn't you have done with by yourself?"

Tommy stood up—he wiped the dust off his hands onto his jeans before making his way to the other side of the car. He couldn't stand to look at her, she made him feel so weak and small and he hated that feeling. He looked around him, there was no one; they were stranded there till morning if not longer than that. He took a deep breath, letting the clean air cycle through his body before he made his way back over to where she was sitting.

"If you want to leave, by all means," he pointed in the direction they had been driving, "No one is stopping you."

She laughed at his nonsense, "Yeah," she muttered.

"What? You don't want to be here, especially with me, so leave, I am sure someone will come along and offer a nice young lady like you a ride to wherever you are going."

"And then murder me…" she trailed off.

He shrugged, giving her that 'oh well' grin she knew oh too well.

"Bastard," she muttered.

A smile crept onto his face as she said this. He turned his head to glance at her just as she turned her face away from him. Trying to fight the feeling inside him he closed his eyes before speaking.

"I just don't understand," he turned away from her and stared at his trembling hands in his lap.

"Don't understand what?" she quickly glanced in his direction, her eyes quickly detouring to the vast darkness that lay behind him and all around them.

"Everything," he didn't take his eyes off his hands, "You. Me…" he looked up and at her, she could feel his stare on her and she brought her eyes back into focus on his, "…Us," he shook his head, his eyes stabbing her with every emotion one could muster up.

"What is there to understand?" she shook her head mimicking his movements, "We tried," she reached towards him, "We failed," her hand rested on top of his, "We move on," she intertwined her fingers with his, squeezing ever so tightly, never once taking her eyes off his.

"But what if I don't want to move on?" he retracted his hand, removing it from hers. The softness of her skin brought back painful memories of a time he wasn't sure he would ever get back.

She stood up, quickly brushing the dirt off her jeans she walked away from him and out into the vast lonely dessert. He watched as her figure got smaller and smaller and soon it became too dark to even make out her silhouette.

"JUDE!" he shouted, afraid of where she was going and what could happen to her in the middle of no where.

"I'm right here," she spoke softly, standing only a mere fifteen feet away from him. "I don't…" she trailed off, unsure of the right words to say.

He stood up and walked out towards her, under the moon she was even more beautiful than he ever remembered. The blue glow that surrounded them made her look like something from a world above.

"What did I do wrong?" he stared at the reflection of the moon in her eyes.

She shook her head, titling it a little so she could see him, _nothing_ she mouthed.

"Then what happened?" his questions just kept coming, he couldn't stop them from spilling out his mouth, "What are you so afraid of?"

"Me?" she asked turning away from him, "I'm afraid of everything," her hands flew up at her sides before dropping again, she shook her head and continued speaking "I'm afraid of what I've seen, of what I've done, of who I am…but most of all," she turned around looking directly at him as she stepped forward, "I'm afraid of leaving this god forsaken place," she turned her head and glanced around, it truly was beautiful, even if she didn't want to be there, "I'm afraid of getting back home, walking away from this and never feeling again in my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."

She shrugged as she felt the tears rising to the brim of her eyes. The first spilling over she leaped into his arms, letting his warm embrace protect her from this night. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, never wanting to let go, she fit perfectly against him and she was just the right height that her head rested perfectly in the nape of his neck.

She held onto him tightly, letting the tears flow freely, she had missed his touch for so long—she missed his warmth and his protection. She didn't have answer for why things were the way they were between them, as much as she wished to explain herself, the truth was there was nothing to tell. She didn't want to put the blame on herself, so she turned the blame on him.

"I've never felt so alone before in my life," she whispered into his neck, the warmth from her mouth sending chills across his body.

"Welcome to lonesome town, population two," he broke apart from her, taking a second to look at her and wiping away her tears before pulling her back into his arms, "So where are we right now? Where do we stand?"

She shook her head against his body, "I don't know, I don't know" the words rolled softly off her lips, "I am so sorry Tommy, if only I had known."

"It's okay," he rubbed her back.

She gently backed away from him, only inches from each other she looked down at her hand- her wedding ring sparkled in the moonlight. She twisted it so the diamond stood up straight.

He followed her eyes towards her wedding ring, "Jude," he spoke up, "If you want out…"

She glanced up at him, she couldn't barely see his face that was shadowed by the night, she reached for his left hand and took it in her palm, it rested lightly on top of hers, she brought his hand up to her mouth and gently kissed his wedding ring, "I married you because I loved you, nothings changed," she smiled as she rested her lips on his, he wrapped his arm around the small of her back as he felt the softness of her tongue against his.

They broke apart and he grabbed her hand in his, "Come on," he walked her back to the car, opening the passenger door she slid in on the red leather. He walked around the front of the car stopping to pop the hood. It took about five minutes before he slammed it shut and got in on the driver's side door.

"So?" she asked.

He glanced over at her, a devilish grin playing on his face as he leaned over and turned the ignition. The car roared to life and he quickly put it into drive, easing his way back out onto the open road, back towards a place they could both call home… together.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I never intended to continue with this story but it's fun to write and I thought hell, if people read it then there is more to be said. This could be the end, it could go on... I've yet to decide.**

**Enjoy.**

He pulled back out onto the shadowy highway; the only illumination was of that from their headlights racing past the golden column that ran down the heart of the pavement.

Tommy snuck a peak at Jude, a smirk stretched amply across his face.

"Are you serious?" she half laughed, observing as the landscape that was not so long ago a motionless horizon was now one long distortion as it hastily rocketed past her.

He skewed his head to look at her, shrugging his shoulders as he raised his eyebrows in the _'I don't know'_ kind of way. He gradually brought his eyes back to the path in front of him—pitch black nothingness at the forefront.

"I can't believe you," she situated her backside against the door, "Really, I mean making me sit in the dirt? As if I wasn't disgusting enough? _And_ in the freezing cold?" she closed her eyes as she trembled at the reflection, "Who knows what kind of eerie creepy creatures were out there," her eyes distended as she took in a heavy breath, "I could have been eaten!" she half shrieked, hitting him.

He massaged his upper arm, "Yeah, well, that _was _part of the plan."

Jude repositioned herself once more, this time facing out the window. This road trip seemed doomed to failure from the start, but as she looked back on it now she was pleased she came. A smile played on the corners of her mouth as she thought about Tommy and how one little not-so-stranded trip to the desert could fix their relationship. Sure they still had much to work on, but this was a start and she was willing to give it her undivided attention.

They drove in hushed calmness for the next hour, the drone of the engine the only resonance between them, every couple minutes sneaking a quick look at each other.

"I can't wait to get into bed," Jude sighed, slumping down in her seat and lifting her legs out the window where the balmy air from outside was raging her hair into an even more tousled disarray.

Tommy's eyes fell upon her, exploring her up and down, "I can't wait to get _you_ into bed," he smirked mischievously.

She glanced at him, a grin on her face as she twisted the ring on her left hand, playing with it unconsciously.

She felt Tommy accelerate as the engine roared a slight more intensely—she let out a diminutive giggle, "careful," she paused before rotating her head in his direction, "She's old."

Tommy lifted his foot off the gas, slowing them down by at least ten miles per hour, "Sorry, I got excited," he crooked his head towards the obscurity to his left, lifting his arm out the window, letting it roll simultaneously with the current of air.

Jude's eyes grew heavy and she only opened them again when she felt the car slow down, "are we home?" she groggily solicited.

Tommy smiled at her, not breaking the silence he shook his head, _"Gas,"_ he mouthed.

Dazzling neon lights buzzed overhead, Jude brought her feet in from the window and listlessly sat up in her chair, rubbing her eyes and disappointedly trying to run her fingers through her hair she stretched out her restful body.

"My legs could use some movement," she opened the door and emerged the same time Tommy did on the left, "You want anything from inside?" she pointed towards the mini-mart ahead of her.

"I'm good," he detached the nozzle from the pump and slid it into the gas tank. He leaned his back against the surface of the car, watching as Jude made her way into the store. It didn't matter all the differences they had, he loved her just as much today as he did the first time he met her.

He observed her through the glass windows as she quizzically looked at everything surrounding her. Turning down each isle, she picked up random items and set them back down with either a look of uncertainty or aversion on her face. He laughed as he watched her—decisions were by no means her thing.

She leisurely made her way up the register, making sure she didn't overlook anything she may want. She set the heap that was in her arms down on the counter and picked up the newspaper as she waited for her total. She glanced over the front page of the paper before she turned to look at Tommy outside—he waved when her eyes met his.

She emerged a few minutes' later arms bursting with drinks and random eats. She dawdled back to the car, glancing up from the objects in her hands to meet Tommy's gaze. His eyes followed her as she made her way back to the other side of the car before disappearing underneath the hood.

He finished filling up before sitting behind the steering wheel once again and pulling them back out onto the highway.

"Did you see how many stars were in the sky?" Jude lifted her head towards the moonless night sky.

Tommy shifted his body inclining over the dashboard to browse up at the shady sky through the windshield.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

He leaned back in his seat and turned his head to look at her, "Yeah," he murmured, "Beautiful."

"Tommy?" Jude brought her head in from the window and caught him looking at her.

"Hmm?" he didn't look away.

"Why'd you want to come on this road trip?"

"You mean you didn't get my whole '_we're stranded in the desert with only each other_' plot?" He blinked his eyes back towards the road before looking at her once again.

"No… I mean… yes, I got the plan," she crossed her legs underneath her, "I mean… never mind," she took a heavy breath giving up on her inquisition.

"I saw you pick up the paper," he was intently looking out in front of him, his eyes now glued to the road, "Did you really think I'd forget?"

"I did."

"Yeah, well…" he leaned over in front of her, his left hand still on the wheel as he opened the glove compartment. Fishing around he finally found what he was looking for, "Happy three year anniversary Jude," he handed her a silver chain with a simple white gold ring on it.

"Tommy—" She froze, taking the necklace in her hands, the chain slipping through her fingers, the ring resting in her palm, "I cant believe you planned all this."

He shrugged as she slid across the seat and leaned against him. He wrapped his right arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

This road trip was becoming everything he was imagining it would be from the start. Her touch was comforting, it had been so long since he felt her against him, and they leaned into each other, fitting together perfectly as they continued down the desolate open road, towards the distant city lights.

Their headlights reflected against a road sign, "Forty more miles and we're home," Jude leaned her head on his shoulder, "Back to life, back to reality," she hummed almost silently under her breath.

"We could always turn back around," Tommy looked down at her, kissing the top of her head, "There is a whole world out there for us to discover."

"Thirty-nine more miles."

"Or I could keep going straight."

She tilted her head up, kissing the bottom of his jaw, "Turn around," she mumbled against his chest.

"Turn around?"

"Turn around."


End file.
